A D.C. radio station, WAVA with Don Geronimo and Mike O'Mera (105.1 on your
F.M. dial) used to run a bit called "Crooks are Stupid!".  They read a few
questionable stories that were very funny such as...

...A man goes to rob a bank.  He brings two things: a hand grenade and his
   dog.   He pulls the pin, lobs the grenade at the doors of the bank and
   ducks behind cover.  Rover retrieves the grenade, drops it at his master's
   feet, and bolts away for the next toss.  BOOM!  End of robbery.  I think
   the dog got a citation from the city.

...A couple of men go to rob a bank.  They back their car up to the doors of
   the bank, tie a chain around the door handles, then around their fender,
   then hit the gas.  The fender rips off the car and they panic and speed
   away.  The police recovered the fender AND THE LICENSE PLATE and tracked
   down the puzzled crooks.

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Reminds me of one I heard several years ago.  An older lady is
mugged and having no cash on hand she asks her attacker if he will
take a check.  The mugger agrees, so she calmly asks who she should
make the check out to.  Not thinking clearly, the mugger gives the old
lady his real name.  The man is arrested in his home several hours
later with the check still in his wallet.

I have a newspaper clipping at home where a guy breaks into the home
of a bedridden, invalid old lady.  She powerless to resist him, but
when he comes into her bedroom he becomes intrigued by the cluster of
medicine bottles on her bedside table.  He then starts sampling at
random, eventually becomes sleepy, lays down on the floor at the foot
of the woman's bed and still asleep when the cops show up.

This talk of stupid criminals reminds me of one I heard when I was
in the Air Force.  It seems these two Airmen decided to rob the local
7-11, a stupid move in and of itself.  But wait, its stupid to rob
a store when you're in the military 'cause the haircut will give you
away every time.  But wait again, its even stupider to do it in UNIFORM
with you NAME emblazoned in 1 inch letters on the front.  But wait yet
again, its even stupider to tie up the clerk and try and ring up
customers purchases from behind the register while in uniform outside an
Air Force base.  Especially when your first customer is a Chief Master Sgt.

In my old neighborhood, two classmates of mine decided to rob the local
convenience store.  Rather than putting on masks, they waited until this
girl they knew was working behind the counter, and then robbed the store.
When arrested, they said: "But we were sure that she wouldn't tell on us!"

    My favorite is about a man who tried to hijack a plane.  It was a
charter filght, sitting on the ground.  The guy runs across the tarmac, forces
his way into the plane, pulls a gun on the stewardess, who starts to laugh.
    Turns out this is a flight of FBI agents going to a convention, and
there are now a plane full of guns aimed at him.