ken@batman.austin.ibm.com writes:
|> 
|> I've finally done it - I trained my finicky cat to come up
|> and eat a freshly-picked booger off my finger.

Cool. I recently trained my wife to do much the same. (No, she *doesn't* have
net access, why do you ask?)

|> I'd like to hear about other tasteless pet tricks.

Okay. I mentioned this once in rec.pets, but I guess it bears repeating here. I've taught
my 5.5 year-old German Shepherd one and only one "trick:" I taught him to hump
on someone's (not just mine - this is an important distinction (and, in fact,
the hardest part of the learning process)) leg at the mention of one key word
- "Madonna." 

At the mere mention of The Blonde One, whosoever speaks Her name finds a
large, foul - breathed, sharp - clawed furbag attached to his/her upper thigh,
loins a - pumpin' and tounge a - lollin'.

We (my wife and I, and well, the dawg) have one acquaintence who pissed
himself laughing the first time he saw this display.

This is, however, a rather sanitary trick in light of the fact that Gordie and
his testicles parted ways a few years back. Sorry.

Additionally, I posted this little tale about the Gordster approximately a
year ago. Since you mentioned your gato and noseberries in the same sentence,
I'll include my tale here as well.

---
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless
Subject: Pets `n illness
Organization: The Phlegm Phactory
--text follows this line--

So yesterday I stayed home from work with this wicked cold - fever,
coughing, and more snot that one would usually think humanly possible.
Anyway, in one of my sneezing fits, I blew this golf-ball-size glob `o
green about four feet across the room, splattering on the hardwood
floor. Before I could even get off the sofa to wipe it up, the dog was
over it, slurpin' it up like a prize.  He then proceeds to stare at me
for the next hour like "hey, make some more of that green stuff, it
wasn't bad."

The best part was the reaction this little story got out of my wife.

kevin "maybe there's a mucus market out there" harris