>WHY ASK WHY
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't
drink and drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of
parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is
prohibited there?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the
mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there
locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick
 to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it
from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens
when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here".  What is the  protocol
if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called
a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called
cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on
planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same
substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address,
you turn down the volume on the radio?


43rd law of Computing:

        Anything that can go wr-
  fortune: Segmentation violation--Core Dumped

Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I think he's from the CIA.

Yield to temptation, It might not pass your way again. -L.Long

You are wise, witty and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this
type of trash.

You think Oedipus had a problem, Adam was Eve's mother.

The world's ugly as sin, and almost as delightful.

Hail to the Sun god
He sure is a fun god
Ra! Ra! Ra!

Heisenberg may have slept here.

"I am the mother of all things.  And all things should wear a sweater."

I can read your mind and you should be ashamed of yourself

Do Infants have as musch fun in infancy as adults have in adultery.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" unitl you can find a rock.

Darth Vader sleeps with a Teaddywookie

Contrary to popualar belief, penguins are not the salvation of modern
technology.  Neither do they throw parties for the urban proletariat.

Commitment can be illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs.  The chicken
was involved, the pig was comitted.

Firestone's Law of Forcasting: Chicken Little only has to be right once.

What has 4 legs and an arm?
A very happy pit bull.

When consideing that 50% of all marriges end in divorce, consider that the
other 50% end in death.

Grub first, then ethics.

"I'd love to go out with you, but I have to floss my cat."

I am defending her honor, which is more than she ever did.

I am going to live forever, or die trying.

If God is dead, who will save the queen.

If God is perfect, why did he create discontinuous functions?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people.

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you
have in your house.

If only I could be respected without being respectable.

If there is no god, who pops up the next Kleenex?

If you cannot do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

If you want divine justice, die.

If your not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Carpe noctem, que ipsem sufocate.

All god's children got wave forms.

Thought for the Day:
All my words are second hand-The Sisters of Mercy

Except of course "grumblespitz"