>---------------------------------------------------------------
>Collection of 'one-liner' signature files found on the Internet
>---------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
>
>Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
>
>I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
>
>We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse.
>
>Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
>
>Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
>
>The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
>
>Did anyone see my lost carrier?
>
>Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
>
>I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
>
>He who laughs last thinks slowest!
>
>Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
>
>"More hay, Trigger?"  "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
>
>A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
>
>Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
>
>Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.
>
>There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
>
>Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
>
>I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
>
>Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
>
>Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now.
>
>Friends help you move.  Real friends help you move bodies.
>
>I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
>
>Ever notice how fast Windows runs?  Neither did I.
>
>Double your drive space - delete Windows!
>
>What is a "free" gift ?  Aren't all gifts free?
>
>Assassins do it from behind.
>
>If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
>
>"Very funny, Scotty.  Now beam down my clothes."
>
>Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
        Gotta love that one.
>
>Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
>
>Oops.  My brain just hit a bad sector.
>
>I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
>
>Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
>
>I don't suffer from insanity.  I enjoy every minute of it.
>
>The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
>
>Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
>
>The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>
>When there's a will, I want to be in it.
>
>Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
>
>Few women admit their age.  Few men act theirs.
>
>I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
>
>We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
>
>All generalizations are false, including this one.
>
>Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
>
>C program run.  C program crash.  C programmer quit.
        C Melissa transfenestrate computer.
>
>"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
>
>I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
>
"If your life was a movie, would anyone want to see it??"
>
>"Things to see, people to do."
>
>"Flying is quite easy... It is simply the art of throwing yourself at the
>ground, and missing."