(The following are legitimate quotations taken straight from the
    lips of the man, Dave Curcio.  They are not at all strange
    because they are taken out of context for they were just as
    strange in the conversations during which they were stated, but
    truly represent his insanity in a way in which no other person's
    words could.)

1. I find it odd that none of you are interested in witchcraft.

2. How many of you have ever smelled telephone poles?

3. Have you ever looked deeply into a goat's eye?

4. Danzig, one of my favorite singers.....

5. This selling of the soul bit, a lot of people do it.

6. Didn't you ever sign a contract in blood with your friend?

7. Anybody ever had a monkey for a pet?

8. C-Chlor medicine is so good and tasty, it's just irresistible.

9. Spanish fly and all those other aphrodisiacs all don't work.

10. That reminds me of a goat named Gretchen I knew in Vermont.  That
goat would wait for me with that evil look in her eye.

11. I agree with that.

12. In the Philippines, people are still crucified, but they don't
crucify themselves.  That second nail is a son-of-a-gun to get in.

13. A lot of you, in about ten years, when you get out of prison,
will find it a turning point in your life.

14. Flogging.  It doesn't take much to start breaking your ribs and
flaying the skin off your back.

15. Sometimes I wish I had a virus so I could throw up on selected
students.

16. If you have a meeting after school that you don't want to go to
and you shoot yourself in the hallway, that meeting is history.

17. F. Scott Fitzgerald, I've seen him dressed as a woman.  He's
gorgeous.

18. Your old buddy William Faulkner, he's beautiful in drag.

19. You've done a ritual swearing when you were little.

20. Anybody ever had bird's nest soup in here?

21. Any Zen Buddhists in here?

22. I've told you about when I was working on mausoleums,
waterproofing them?

23. Size isn't what's important.

24. Haven't you ever tied up your little brother or sister?

25. To be left at the altar....It can really ruin your day.

26. Remember we talked about heroin the other day?  You can take a
little heroin and function the whole day, or you can take a lot and
knock yourself out.

27. Any of you ever killed a chipmunk with your bare hands?

28. People always have a peaceful expression when their heads wash
ashore on the beach.

29. When you threaten someone's life you want them to take you
seriously and not just slap you and laugh in your face...Ha Ha!

30. When you stab someone, you really have to push it in, squiggle it
around, hit a vital organ.

31. I was chased by a goose.  It came at me hissing.  My friend 
accidentally shot it with an automatic out the bathroom window.

32. You've all jumped off roofs with umbrellas....

33. Like sitting on the roof of your car and driving with your feet,
I mean, there's no law against it.

34. Imagine if Simkin said '15 lashes' and then you laughed in his
face after 15.

35. I know a person who owns a big piece of quartz, and keeps it in
the living room, and calls it God.

36. Everyone should take rocks home, give them names, and keep them
around the house.

37. Cannibalism is cannibalism.  I mean, it's no big deal.