Path: news.cc.swarthmore.edu!robert
From: robert@cs.swarthmore.edu (Robert Richardson)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
Subject: Re: May I help you?
Date: 10 Dec 1993 06:24:12 GMT
Organization: Swarthmore College, Swarthmore, PA, USA
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Yet more answers to the age old question : "May I help you?"

"Yes, please do"  <wait expectantly>

"No, but I think I can help YOU!"  <try and sell THEM something>

"Yes, could you scratch right here, where I can't reach?" <turn around,
point to your back...>

<look deep into their eyes for a moment, very calmly say>  "No."

"What's the catch?"

"Only  if you let me help you too."

<holding out a bit of money, act as if you are trying to tip them> "Yes, I
believe you can...>

<go into a long and detailed story of your marital troubles, be creative and
long-winded>

"Yes, could you go get me a pizza?"

"Yes, could you hold this for a second?" <Make it something either weird or
disgusting or both.>

"Yes, I'd like to order a round of batteries for everyone"  <in Rad. Shack>

"Are there any specials?"

I guess that's enough for now... We're sitting around my room waiting for
our pizza to show up...

	-Robert Richardson, robert@cs.swarthmore.edu-