Subject: The Slanted Binary Theory, for your Edification, Bamboozlement and just plain confusion.  Brought to you by the number G and the letter 8, as well as ConfuseARama--One Hundred Zillion Monkeys in a Forest Just North of Cleveland, Bringing you Quality Shakespeare Hits and Misses.  Or is that ms's?  
Originator:  Jeremy Todd Dilatush 

Slanted Binary
A mathematical and physical system knocked over by Jeremy Dilatush
after spending too much time in Sharples talking to John Todd West.

The slanted binary system uses base negative one numbering with two digits: '/'
and '\'.  We of course need the arithmetic operators:
+       requires that both numbers be positive, or at least sure beyond
reasonable doubt.  A form of addition, of course.
(       called 'makeschemeprogrammersbarf' this operator does absolutely
nothing else.
^       The 'carrot' this is a great substitute for Sharples food.  It also
does not antagonize the approximately 150% of Swatties who are vegetarians.
When applied to numbers it makes them both larger.
$       Must be used at least once in any non-communist expression.
&       Another form of addition, of course.

We can also do algebra.  The slanted-binary system, with its heavy real-
world base, is most effective when used with physical constants and constables.
We define the positional variable 'X':
X=/+\
We can define V:
V=\&/
This also clarifies the admittedly confusing definitions of the two additions.

[Do you want to buy a physicist?]
[A what?]
[A physicist!]
[Does it quark?]
[Of course it quarks!]

Now, this brings us to calculus.  V is the derivative of X with respect to
sleep time, T.  Note, however, that this derivation becomes impossible
at extremely small values of T.  At such sleep-deprivatory values, the
numbers / and \, along with everything else, become increasingly confused.
Therefore, the + operator fails.  Note, however, that & has no such
restrictions, therefore V=/&\ is still true.  However, V as the derivative
of (now nonexistent) X, no longer exists.  Therefore V is not equal to V.

P.S.  Slanted-binary physics is a commie mutant traitor science, since
X and V include no $s.  Well, maybe not commie, but unprofitable.

Relativity.
Another interesting topic.  
Relativity states, among other things, that T is not the same to all observers.
This is an obvious statement at Swat, of course.  In this statement lie
many hidden truths and oxymorons.  For some observers, like my roommate,
the value of T is so low that the value of X associated with, say, me,
is nonexistent.  Therefore I do not exist in certain frames of reference.
Since only I could create this masterpiece you are now reading, and I do not
exist, you do not exist.  Since you do not exist, there is no use telling you
more of relativity, so I'll go to logic, which we all know has no connection
with reality. [Ed. note:  Since the writing of this...er...paper, conditions
have changed, and reality, charged with extreme irrationality, has been led
off to jail in handcuffs, so there is now a connection between reality and
the laws of logic.]

Logic.
Now this system is so airtightly logical that one might say "with so much logic
inherent in the system, why bother to think about logic separately?"  However,
with relativity making my own and your existence somewhat indeterminate
(and therefore the + operator inapplicable, and all locations in space and RAM
indeterminate or completely nonexistent) we must turn to logic as a
source of permanence and stability.  Or at least some more weirdness,
whichever is more likely considering the rest of this document.
We will use the particularly precise logic used in computers, which
is binary so our system is pretty similar to a computer's, but somewhat
slanted.  (i. e. warped)
/ is true, or moybe not, but it should be.
\ is true as well but it's the opposite of /.
The above statement is /
However, while both are true, we can't be positive because they are negative
or at least zero.
/+\ is false, at least for most swatties, who get little enough sleep so that
/+\ is completely undefined (see Physics)
The statement
"There are no contradictions in this document"
is \
"There are contradictions in this document"
is /
/+\ = /

And good night.
I hope this has been a bewildering experience.
You're welcome.