Path: news.cc.swarthmore.edu!aaron
From: aaron@cs.swarthmore.edu (Aaron Hertzmann)
Newsgroups: _swat.org.swil
Subject: Swarthmore: The Gathering
Date: 23 Oct 1994 04:11:06 GMT
Organization: Swarthmore College Ministry of Information
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While both of us were writing papers at 4 am, Thursday night, Fred and Aaron
got engrossed in a game of "Swarthmore: The Gathering".  For those unfamiliar
with the game, we thought we'd share some of the details for your amusement and
disgust.

There are five colors of Manic in the game:

Garnet Manic - Colors of Admissions Offices, Deans, and Alumni Organisations
Green Manic - Color of Tuition, Tarble Credit, and the Economics Department
Bluedini Manic - Color of Liquid Amusement and Inspiration
Black Manic - Color of Stress and Angst
White Manic - Color of Ice Cream and Mail From Home  (very rare)

Each player purchases their own deck, which, including Booster Packs, can cost
upwards of $25,000 (not unlike a similar game).  It is of indeterminate length,
lasting 4, 5, or even 6 years.  The players take turns, drawing a card from
their deck, registering their opponents for classes, extracurricular
activites, and other similar atrocities.  The first player with 20 insanity
points transfers to Arkham Community College.

Here is a sample game:

A: I'll draw a card, and play Library of Lang, then tap it for a Black Manic,
   and register you for ENGL 666, "Discourses on Postmodern Discourses".  Your
   turn.

F: Ooh, rough start.  I'll draw a card, and play Admissions Office and summon
   a spec - remember, you can't kill him or the Admissions staff attacks you.

A: Grr.  Time for a paper - I play Olde Club for Bluedini Manic, and assign you
   200 pages of Foucault - that's one 1 insanity point per turn.

F: Ouch. I'll play the Multicultural Land and tap it to smite you with
   "Conversational Sanskrit" class.  Meanwhile, the spec will attend my English
   class for me.

A: Fine - here's a Ten-Page Paper for you, plus I inflict Addictive Computer
   Game on you, to double the insanity cost.

F: Ok, take Fourty-Minute Verbal Presentation, and then add Network Connection,
   so you take the same effects from the Addictive Computer Game as I do.

A: I cast Flooded Basement on Parrish, to bring the Network down.

F: I summon Drunken Physical Plant Repair Team to do 2 points of Structural
   Damage to your dorm room.

A: I summon Wall of Construction to prevent the Repair Team from Damaging the
   dorm.

F: I cast a Pizza Delivery spell on the Repair Team - they can get anywhere on
   campus!

A: Aha - but with the Alfredo's Enchantment, it will take four turns for them
   to take effect.  I play Computer Lab for Black Manic and assign you a
   Ten-Page Paper, and with the Immanuel Kant modifier, that's 5 insanity
   points.

F: Hmm.. about time for a Care Package, for 3 insanity points.  I tap all of my
   Manic and hit you with Forgotten Exam for 5 more points, unless you have a
   cram card.

A: I'll cast Early Morning Time Change on your English class and Hate Speech
   Incident, so you can't bring out any new assignments this turn.

F: I'll use Sharples against you and hit you with a Lentil Loaf!

A: I cast Tarble Credit to cancel the Lentil Loaf and cast Lithium and Study
   Break for 5 insanity points for myself.

F: I Summon US News & World Report article to cause two points of inferiority
   complex. 

[...]

A: I appear to have 666 insanity points, so I Summon Cthulhu and the world is
   overcome by the forces of evil, thus illustrating the point that no one wins
   at a game of Swarthmore.

Fred & Aaron
"We lose sleep over it so you don't have to!"