The Washington Post's Style Invitational Column asked for colorful curses
in the Yiddish tradition.

The winners:
        4th runner up:
        May your hair never turn gray, so everyone thinks you dye it.

        3rd runner up:
        May you be caught shoplifting by a security camera that adds 10
        pounds to you in court.

        2nd runner up:
        May the ladies on 14th street call out your name as you drive by
        with your wife, and may your wife call them back by theirs.

        1st runner up:
        May you be a contestant on "Jeopardy!" playing against my
        7-year-old son and the only categories are Power Rangers, X-men, and fart
        noises.

        and the winner is:
        May your children be so clever they are acquitted of murdering you.