Date: Fri, 22 Apr 1994 12:18:41 EDT
From: Roger A. Hunt <RAH12@psuvm.psu.edu>
Subject: Attention! FLAME WAR Protection Available!

Greetings, fellow Flame-Warrior Victims!

Are you tired of having your carefully-thought-out posts flamed?  Want
a sure-fire way to discourage those pesky flamers that cluster around
your favorite newsgroups like moths around a porch light?  Here's the
product you've been waiting for:  ROBO-FLAMER(tm)!

ROBO-FLAMER(tm) is guaranteed to put your flame worries to an end.
Manufactured by the Acme Corporation, known throughout the American
West for its devotion to quality and high standards of manufacture,
ROBO-FLAMER(tm) has been extensively field-tested by our ace product
development engineer, Mr. W. Coyote of Arches, Utah.

How does ROBO-FLAMER(tm) work?  It's genius.  Sheer genius.  Simply
attach ROBO-FLAMER(tm) to your .sig, using a wad of pink bubble-gum
and a long string (sold separately, restrictions may apply.)  As soon
as ROBO-FLAMER detects that your post is being included in ANY message
with a temperature of greater than 451 degrees Fahrenheit, the message
will be shot right back to its poster.  Best of all, the message arrives
back to its originator at a temperature of 37,078,194,733,606,512.1
degrees Fahrenheit.

Want proof?  Just listen to these satisfied customers:

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workstation out in the lobby, and within minutes all our flames had
just disappeared.  Now we get all our posts crystal-clear, over both
Hell OnLine and DELPHIRE, without any interference from those morons
up in Heaven who used to constantly flame us over our alternative
lifestyle down here.  I'm one cool ROBO-FLAMER(tm)!"

Mr. B. Dole, U.S. Senator, Hell:  "I wouldn't be where I am today if
it weren't for ROBO-FLAMER!"  ["(tm)", Mr. Dole hurriedly added.]

Huitzilgasuntheit, Ancient Avenging Aztec God of Coleman Stoves:
"I'm not only the ROBO-FLAMER(tm) President...I'm also a client!"

Dave Rhodes, Entrepreneur, San Quentin, CA:  "I wish I had known
about ROBO-FLAMER years ago!"

Yes, you CAN get rid of those obnoxious Flame Warriors today!  Simply
try ROBO-FLAMER(tm) for 30 days at your expense.  If not completely
satisfied, try it for another 30 days.  If still not completely satisfied,
we will cheerfully refund your money, warmed to a cheery 37,745,861,904.2
degrees Fahrenheit.

<*crackle crackle*>  Don't delay!  They're gaining on you!  Order NOW!