Menu of the

                  ROAD KILL Cafe

          in Greenville Junction, Maine
     (at the southern tip of Moosehead Lake)

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                     SKIDBITS

                   Moose-Wings
     And you thought only Buffalo had wings.

                 Chicken Knuckles
        Deboned, declawed and deep fried.

                     Lug Nuts
               Stuffed and Mounted.

                    Road Pizza
       It's flat.  It's round.  It's good.

         Mutant Moosehead Crawfish Tails
     Looks and tastes remarkably like Shrimp.

                     Pig Lips
                We're not kidding.

                   Potato Pelts
Or a raccoon that's been run over too many times.

              Pail O' Nightcrawlers
   French fries with that off the road patina.

                     O-Rings
       Fried in 10W-40 with STP for flavor.

                    Cat Tails
                  Purrrrrrfect.

                Canadian Na Chaux
Look.  Chill out.  We're 2,800 miles from Mexico.

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                 MOWER CLIPPINGS

                   House Salad
              Humdrum assortment of
               greens and veggies.

                Charlie's Platter
                Sorry, Charlie...

               Tweety Bird's Demise
            Sylvester finally got him.

                The "Cooks" Salad
             We can't afford a chef.

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                  THE POT HOLES

                 Soup du Route 15
          What the UPS man found on his
             way here from Guilford.

            French Canadian Onion Soup
             Made from what he found
            coming back from Jackman.

                   Troy's Chili
      He'll be back, and so will the chili.

              Wiggin Stream Chowder
     Whatever Freddy pulled out of the brook.

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              BYE-BYE BAMBI BURGERS

   Served with Nightcrawlers, lettuce, tomato,
 onion and mayo, and what appears to be either a
          pickle or a very old tadpole.


               The Plain Ol' Burger

             The Cheesy Weasel Burger

                The Fungus Burger

         The Porky Pig meets Elsie Burger

             The Skunk Breath Burger

              The Interstate Pile-Up

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           BRAKE AND SCRAPE SANDWICHES

            Served with Nightcrawlers


 The Chicken that Didn't Make It Across the Road
           Ask your server for details.

           Flipper's Friend Fish Fillet
        Don't ask your server for details.

            The ROAD KILL's Big Macks
       Deli sandwiches that need two hands.

                    Pita-Bilt
         Is that a mouse in your pocket?

           When the Chicken Hit the Fan
             It's not a pretty sight.

                  The "DOT" BLT
   OK, we know a BLT has nothing to do with the
Department of Transportation, but it sounds good.

             The Misteak on the Lake
        It's either the building next door
            or a great steak sandwich.

               Cana You Tuna a Car?
 Tuna, revved up with bacon, lettuce and tomato.

                    Road Flare
            Our version of a hot dog.

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            RIBS, FIPS, BUCKS & BALLS

Served with Nightcrawlers and House Mower Clippings.


          The ROAD KILL Grill and Grille
 Courtesy of a faithful band of truck drivers and
 prepared on an authentic Quaker State Motor Oil
   barrel cut in half and fired with Moosehead
Dry Kai.  Our BBQ imbues that special flavor only
  a residue of petroleum and years on the bottom
             of the lake can provide.

                Probably Pork Ribs
       Alas, Missy Piggy, we knew you well.

            Chicken Under Contruction
            Lacerated and masticated.

       Looks Like Steak, Smells Like Steak
                  Must be Steak.

                    Mooseballs
        Unquestionably the most tender cut
         of the moose, sauteed and graced
           with our own special sauce.
     72 hour notice and 25% deposit required.
                    $1,425.00

   Fettucini El Greydo, El Freydo, El Playdough
                  Oh never mind.

                     Oh Deer!
              The buck stopped here.

              Assorted Battered Bait
          Fried Clams or Fried Scallops.

                  Chish and Fips
         Faddock hilet with Crightnawlers
                 and satyr toss.

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 Depending upon road conditions, average highway speed
and the intensity of state police radar traps, we offer
       a variety of "interesting" specials.

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