CLASSIC ADS 1: ANIMALS

             Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours

                   Lost: Small apricot poodle - Reward
                    Neutered. Like one of the family

              Lost: Beagle, partly blind, hard of hearing,
                 castrated; answers to the name of Lucky

             For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy

                          For Sale: Great Dames

                      Dog For Sale: Eats anything;
                      especially fond of children.

                           Pit Bull For Sale:
                             Owner deceased

                        For Sale.  Three canaries
                           of undermined sex.


CLASSIC ADS 3: VACATION

              Vacation Special: have your home exterminated

              If you think you've seen everything in Paris,
                    visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery.
                  It boasts such immortals as Moliere,
                     Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

             Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for
               the Serena Lodge.  Swim in the lovely pool
                       while you drink it all in.

              The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts,
            comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

                                WANTED

                     Wanted: 50 girls for stripping
                      machine operators in factory.

                     Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick
                    fresh fruit and produce at night.

                   Wanted: Part-time married girls for
                     soda fountain in sandwich shop.

                     Wanted: Chambermaid in rectory.
               Love in, $200 a month; References required

                    Girl wanted to assist magician in
                       cutting-off-head illusion.
                          Salary and Blue Cross

                        Wanted: Mother's helper,
                       peasant working conditions.

              Our experienced Mom will care for your child.
                Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

                Wanted: Widower with school-age children
         requires person to assume general housekeeping duties.
          Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

             Wanted: 3-year-old teacher needed for preschool
                          Experience preferred

             Wanted: Preparer of food.  Must be dependable,
        like the food business and be willing to get hands dirty.

                    Man, honest.  Will take anything.

                 Man wanted to work in dynamite factory.
                       Must be willing to travel.

                           Wanted: Haircutter
                       Excellent growth potential

                     Wanted: Man to take care of cow
                      that does not smoke or drink.

              Wanted: Hard working, experienced farm woman.
               Household and field work; know how to cook;
                must own tractor - send photo of tractor.

                     CLASSIC ADS 4: MISCELLANEOUS

              Now is your chance to have your ears pierced
                and get an extra pair to take home, too.

                     Ears pierced - while you wait!

                 No matter what your topcoat is made of,
            this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

                      Have several very old dresses
                from grandmother in beautiful condition.

           Save regularly in our bank.  You'll never reget it.

                 This is the model home for your future.
               It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.

              We do not tear your clothing with machinery.
                       We do it carefully by hand.

                    For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

                For Sale: Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.

            Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last

                     Stock up and save.  Limit: one

                  We build bodies that last a lifetime

                      See ladies blouses.  50% Off!

               Sheer stockings.  Designed for fancy dress,
        but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

          Our bikinis are exciting.  They are simply the tops!