After reading a story informing him that nearly ten percent of living 
things are gay, a man from Surrey wrote to the editor of his local 
paper:  "I strongly suspect that some of my 'farm fresh' eggs are 
homosexual."
        "In my opinion," writes MLH, "supermarkets ought to do more to 
identify and isolate such eggs before they are passed on to the 
consumer."  The writer of the letter insists that he is not homophobic. 
"Some of the best breakfasts have no doubt been gay.  My only concern is 
that homosexual eggs might become mixed with those of a more conventional 
sexual orientation in a single meal.  As a result, one would risk 
producing an omelet or quiche which was confused."
        MJH recommends routine testing of all eggs.  "Presumably this 
could be done by giving eash a little top spin and then observing its 
motion.  Those that veered leftwards would be separated from the rest and 
decorated."