>>3A. ESSAY
>>IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE
>>APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:  ARE THERE
>>ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE
>>REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?
>> 
>>I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice.  I have
>>been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more
>>efficient in the area of heat retention.  I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban
>>refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.
>>Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
>> 
>>I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot
>>bicycles up several inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute
>>Brownies in twenty minutes.  I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and
>>an outlaw in Peru.
>> 
>>Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended
>>a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.  I
>>play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous
>>documentaries.  When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard.
>>I enjoy urban hang gliding.  On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical
>>appliances free of charge.
>> 
>>I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.  Critics
>>worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.  I don't
>>perspire.  I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail.  I have been
>>caller number nine and have won the weekend passes.  Last summer I toured New
>>Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration.  I bat .400.  My
>>deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.
>>Children trust me.
>> 
>>I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.  I
>>once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and
>>still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening.  I know the
>>exact location of every food item in the supermarket.  I have performed
>>several cover operations for the CIA.  I sleep once a week; when I do sleep,
>>I sleep in a chair.  While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated
>>with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.  The laws of
>>physics do not apply to me.
>> 
>>I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid.  On
>>weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.  Years ago
>>I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.  I have made
>>extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.  I
>>breed prizewinning clams.  I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving
>>competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.  I have played
>>Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
>> 
>>But I have not yet gone to college.