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From: stigs@stud.cs.uit.no (Stig-Lennart Soerensen)
Subject: CYBER-WHALING
Sender: news@news.uit.no (News admin.)
Message-ID: <1993Oct12.192102.14209@news.uit.no>
Date: Tue, 12 Oct 1993 19:21:02 GMT
Organization: University of Tromsoe
Lines: 138

CYBERWHALING - A SHORT ESSAY ON THE FUTURE OF WHALING -

By Stig Lennart Soerensen

Greetings fellow readers of soc.culture.nordic. In this article
I'll try to explain some of the future (and history) of whaling and 
its consequences for Norway as a nation.

MODERN WEAPONS IMPLEMENTED INTO WHALING

Today the most common used weapon to assasinate/terminate a whale 
with, is the harpoon. Now this very cruel/unspohisticated weapon is 
soon to be exchanged with modern weaponry. Norways defence industry in
co-operation with Pentagon contractors, has created several ingenious
new weapons for the massmurder/hunting.

* Gatling Gun mounted on the bow of the ship is connected to a 
  sophisticated HUD display at the brigde, enabling the skipper to 
  'fire away' when he gets a lock-on to the whale. 

* Vulcan Assault Gun, a fierce and effective weapon used in the 
  Vietnam war by Phantoms and ground-troops, which fires some 
  3.000 rounds of 7.62 ammunation each minute, is able to 
  fell a whale within 60 seconds. And sink a Greenpeace ship as well

* Mark 18 S.O.T (Special Offensice Torpedo) with a 500 kg conventional
  warhead, delievers a quick and effective blow to the whale, 
  unfortunately tearing the whale to little tiny, weenie shreeds 
  of meat.

* TOW's (anti-tank rockets) is also able to kick some if the whale
  hasnt hit the deck yet.

So a future norwegian whaling ship will be some 1,000 feet long,
carry a crew of some 3,500 men and women, and will be equipped with
the latest in offensive and defensive weapons technology. This
includes sonar, mini-subs, radars, marines, infra/ultra/heat detectors,
and choppers.

The Norwegian Ministry of Fishing, is hoping that by the year 2010,
Norway shall have a fleet of some 150 OWS (Offensive Whaling Ships).

RESEARCH HISTORY

1612 Whaling starts with sailing boats

1893 Someone invents the modern harpoon.

1939 Second World war breaks out, germans uses trained whales to lay 
     mines outside the coast of Norway and to carry german troops to 
     Norwegian soil. Later, whales sinks many norwegians ships. 

1945 World War ends. Nazi-whales either harsly punished or executed.
     Whaling starts up again. Nazi-whale fugitives flee to the 
     South Atlantic.

1950 Norway (in cooperation with USA) nuked a herd of whales. This
     very effective weapon prove successfull in killing a large number
     of animals. Whale-meat trade rise. 

1955 Trade in whale-meat comes almost to a halt, after research shoves
     that whales nuked are seriously contaminated by radiation. Sweden 
     suffer a large scandal as it shows that large number of swedish 
     school-children has been force-feed with whale-meat.

1963 Napalm used for the first and last time. Proves unsuccesfull.

1965 Atomic subs used in the hunting for whales. 

1970 Sweden shocked by large drop-out figures from high-school. 
     National IQ reduced.

1973 Whale attack on small fishing-wessels increase. Since 1923, 
     45,000 norwegians has been killed by whales. Norwegian goverment
     decide to increase hunting and other offensive measures against
     this threat.

1981 Bloodthirsty whales eat up a school-ship with 300 toddlers.
     Massive man-hunt for the whales responsible. Ends with shoot-out
     in the north-atlantic. Several norwegian destroyers sunk and the
     USS Nimitz (leased for the occasion) suffers damage as she is 
     hit by twenty kamikaze whales. But we got the whales. Public
     festivities for the heroes, yet the day is marred by the sorrow
     of the parents.

1986 Norway joins the US in the SDI research. Combat satelites proves
     effective in targetting, firing upon and destroying whales. 
     By the year 1991, Norway has 30 Combat Satelites in orbit. The
     norwegian shuttle proves indispensiable. 

1992 3 whales killed in the assasination attempt at the Kings Ship.
     King unharmed, but special forces troops suffers casaulties. 
     First POW. He is after gruelling three weeks released in the 
     exchange for Snyrft-ok-Torsk, the worst whale terrorist ever.

FUTURE PROJECTS

1997 Large Scale Sonar Detectors will be mounted on several locations 
     across the Atlantic Ocean, guarded by Marines.
     LSSD mission is to listen in for any whale-attack

2001 Pulsar Laser Cannons will be obligatory weapons for every fishing
     ships of Norway. Whales dont discriminate between innocent
     fishers or whalers.

2023 North-sea will be emptied of water. 

IMPLICATIONS FOR NORWAY AS A NATION.

As one can understand from the text above, whaling has just begun. 
It will be a large part of norwegian state income in the next century
and the money earned will go to fifty/fifty to research/domestic 
target groups. 

If the foreign pressure to stop the whaling increases, the norwegian
pressure to continue whaling will increase as well. Its doubtfull that
whaling will stop this or the next millenium. Because it brings in to
much money for that. 

Stig,

o--------------------------------------------o
|Stig-Lennart Srensen, the ace whale-killer |
|E-Mail:stigs@stud.cs.uit.no                 |
|Institute of Psychology.                    |                 
|Mail:Stig-Lennart Srensen,                 |
|     Kveldstuavegen 13                      |
|     9013 Troms                            |
|     Norway                                 |
|          __|__                             |
|   --o--o--(_)--o--o--  Fly me away...      |
|                                            |
|Dagens motto:                               |
|If we had dolphins, we'd eat them too!      |
o--------------------------------------------o