OEDIPUS THE KING (OF THE ROAD) by Daniel Nussbaum

Nussbaum has retold the story of Oedipus
using 154 of the more than 1 million California personalized
license plates registered with the state's Motor Vehicles
Bureau.  This story is one of thirteen that Nussbaum has
compiled in Literary License, a collection that includes
retellings of the Book of Genesis, The Metamorphosis, and
The Joy of Sex.  Nussbaum, a movie-location scout and free-
lance writer, lives in Los Angeles.

ONCEPON ATIME LONG AGO IN THEBES IMKING.
OEDIPUS DAKING. LVMYMRS.  LVMYKIDS.
THEBENS THINK OEDDY ISCOOL.  NOPROBS.

OKAY MAYBE THEREZZ 1LITL1. MOTHER WHERERU?
WHEREAT MYDAD?  NOCALLZ NEVER.  HAVENOT ACLUE.
INMYMND IWNDER WHOAMI?  IMUST FINDEM.

JO MYWIFE GOES, "OED DONT USEE? WERHAPI NOW LETITB."
IGO "NOWAY.  IAMBOSS. DONTU TELLME MYLIFE.
INEED MYMOM.  II WILLL FINDHER.  FIND BOTHOF THEM."

SOI START SEEKING DATRUTH ABOUT WHO IAM.
ITGOEZ ULTRAAA SLOWE.  THE SPHYNXS RIDDLE
WAS ACINCH BUT NOTTHIZ.

SUDNLEE WEHEAR SHOCKING NEWS.  WHEN IWASA TINY1
THISGR8 4SEER SED IWOOD OFF MY ROYAL OLDMAN
THEN MARREE MYMAMA.  SICKO RUBBISH, NESTPAS?
WHOWHO COUDBE SOGONE?  STIL MOMNDAD
SENT MEEEEE AWAY.  MEE ABABI AWAAAY.

NOWWWWW GETTHIZ. MANY MOONS GOBY.
I MEET THISGUY ONATRIP. WEDOO RUMBLE.
WHOKNEW?  ILEFTMY POP ONE DEDMAN.

UGET DAFOTO.  MAJR TSURIS.  JOJO MYHONEE, MYSQEEZ,
MYLAMBY, MIAMOR, MYCUTEE.
JOJOY IZZ MYMOMMY.

YEGODS WHYMEE?  YMEYYME?  LIFSUX.
sIAMBAD, IAMBADD, IMSOBAD.
STOPNOW THISS HEDAKE.  THIS FLESH DUZ STINK.
ITZ 2MUCH PAYNE 4ONE2C.
TAKEGOD MYEYES!

AIEEEEE!