>>>>>>>100 MORE ways to confuse your roommate:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate
>>>>>>>>   eats meat.  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on
>>>>>>>>   the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in.  If
>>>>>>>>   he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
>>>>>>>>2. Get some hair.  Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she
>>>>>>>>   is asleep.  Keep a pair of scissors by your bed.  Snicker at your
>>>>>>>>   roommate every morning.
>>>>>>>>3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray!  You're back!" as
>>>>>>>>   loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes.
>>>>>>>>   Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you
>>>>>>>>   be going somewhere?"
>>>>>>>>4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around.  Then leave and wait
>>>>>>>>   for your roommate to come back.  When he/she does, walk in and act
>>>>>>>>   surprised.  Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again."
>>>>>>>>5. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick
>>>>>>>>   him/her in the stomach.  Then buy him/her some ice cream.
>>>>>>>>6. Set your roommate's bed on fire.  Apologize and explain that you've
>>>>>>>>   been watching too much "Beavis & Butthead."  Do it again.  Tell
>>>>>>>>   him/her that you're not sorry because this time, they deserved it.
>>>>>>>>7. Put your glasses on before you go to bed.  Take them off as soon as
>>>>>>>>   you wake up.  If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic
>>>>>>>>   Dream Glasses.  Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.
>>>>>>>>8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms."  Pick out all the yellow moons and
>>>>>>>>   stockpile them in the closet.  If your roommate inquires, explain
>>>>>>>>   that visitors are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll
>>>>>>>>   have to face the consequences.
>>>>>>>>9. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor.  Inquire about
>>>>>>>>   his/her academic potential.  Take lots of notes, and then give your
>>>>>>>>   roommate a full report.  Insist that he/she do the same.
>>>>>>>>10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning.  Explain that you
>>>>>>>>    are in training.  Eat a dozen donuts every night.
>>>>>>>>11. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate
>>>>>>>>    you're going home.  Come back in an hour and explain that no one
>>>>>>>>    was home.  Unpack everything and go to sleep.
>>>>>>>>12. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Oh, my God!  Where the hell
>>>>>>>>    am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes.  Then go back to
>>>>>>>>    bed.  If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is
>>>>>>>>    talking about.
>>>>>>>>13. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm.  Make it bigger every day.
>>>>>>>>    Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."
>>>>>>>>14. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day.  Eat the straw
>>>>>>>>    and the napkin.  Throw everything else away.
>>>>>>>>15. Buy a plant.  Sleep with it at night.  Talk to it.  After a few
>>>>>>>>    weeks, start to argue with it loudly.  Then yell, "I can't live in
>>>>>>>>    the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door.
>>>>>>>>    Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot.  Refuse to discuss the
>>>>>>>>    plant ever again.
>>>>>>>>16. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box.  Every day, turn the handle until the clown
>>>>>>>>    pops out.  Scream continuously for twenty minutes.
>>>>>>>>17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room.  If your roommate
>>>>>>>>    eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
>>>>>>>>18. Buy some knives.  Sharpen them every night.  While you're doing so,
>>>>>>>>    look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
>>>>>>>>19. Lock the door while your roommate is out.  When he/she comes back
>>>>>>>>    and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!"  Keep
>>>>>>>>    this up for several hours.  When you finally let your roommate in,
>>>>>>>>    immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
>>>>>>>>20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus.  Give them
>>>>>>>>    tours of the room and the building.  Have them ask about your
>>>>>>>>    roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her?  He/she
>>>>>>>>    won't be here much longer."
>>>>>>>>21. If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head
>>>>>>>>    with a rolling pin.  Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful
>>>>>>>>    little..."
>>>>>>>>22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed.  Insist that you don't
>>>>>>>>    know how they got there.
>>>>>>>>23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room.
>>>>>>>>    Keep one pencil on the other side of the room.  Laugh at the pencil.
>>>>>>>>24. Feign a serious illness for two weeks.  Have a priest come to your
>>>>>>>>    room and visit you.  Write out a will, leaving everything to your
>>>>>>>>    roommate.  One day, miraculously "recover."  Insist that your
>>>>>>>>    roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you.  Every time
>>>>>>>>    he/she coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are you dying?"
>>>>>>>>25. Live in the hallway for a month.  Afterwards, bring all of your
>>>>>>>>    stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
>>>>>>>>26. Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days.  Then get rid of the
>>>>>>>>    tarantula.  If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here
>>>>>>>>    somewhere."
>>>>>>>>27. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you."  Then
>>>>>>>>    pretend to faint.  When you recover, say you can't remember what
>>>>>>>>    the message was.  Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!"  Pretend
>>>>>>>>    to faint again.  Keep this up for several weeks.
>>>>>>>>28. Bowl inside the room.  Set up tournaments with other people in the
>>>>>>>>    building.  Award someone a trophy.  If your roommate wants to bowl
>>>>>>>>    too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.
>>>>>>>>29. Walk backwards all the time.  Then pretend to trip and hurt
>>>>>>>>    yourself.  Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery.
>>>>>>>>    Start walking backwards again.
>>>>>>>>30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling.  When
>>>>>>>>OB    your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and
>>>moan.
>>>>>>>>31. Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a
>>>>>>>>    prospective student in the near future.  One day, bring in a pig.
>>>>>>>>    If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that
>>>>>>>>    he/she hurt its feelings.  Watch T.V with the pig, eating lots of
>>>>>>>>    bacon.
>>>>>>>>32. Make a sandwich.  Don't eat it, leave it on the floor.  Ignore the
>>>>>>>>    sandwich.  Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say,
>>>>>>>>    "Hey, where the hell is my sandwich!?"  Complain loudly that you
>>>>>>>>    are hungry.
>>>>>>>>33. Punch a hole in the T.V.  Sit and watch it anyway, complaining
>>>>>>>>    about the poor picture quality.
>>>>>>>>34. Wear a cape.  Stand in front of an open window for about an hour
>>>>>>>>    every day.  Then, one day, when your roommate is gone, go outside
>>>>>>>>    and lie down underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait
>>>>>>>>    for your roommate to return.  The next day, start standing in front
>>>>>>>>    of the window again.
>>>>>>>>35. Collect potatoes.  Paint faces on them and give them names.  Name
>>>>>>>>    one after your roommate.  Separate your roommate's potato from the
>>>>>>>>    others.  Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and
>>>>>>>>    eat it.  Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
>>>>>>>>36. Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream.  Use it to
>>>>>>>>    shave, and then spray some into your mouth.  Later on, complain
>>>>>>>>    that you feel sick.  Continue this process for several weeks.
>>>>>>>>37. Cover your bed with a tent.  Live inside it for a week.  If your
>>>>>>>>    roommate asks, explain that
>>>>>>>>    "It's a jungle out there."  Get your roommate to bring you food and
>>>>>>>>     water.
>>>>>>>>38. Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room.  Look at it with
>>>>>>>>    fear for a few days.  Then stay out of the room entirely, opening
>>>>>>>>    the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, "Psst!  Is
>>>>>>>>    it gone?"
>>>>>>>>39. Break the window with a rock.  If your roommate protests, explain
>>>>>>>>    that you were hot.  Open and close the broken window as you
>>>>>>>>    normally would.
>>>>>>>>40. Throw darts at a bare wall.  All of a sudden, act excited, telling
>>>>>>>>    your roommate that you hit the bull's eye.
>>>>>>>>41. Send flowers to your roommate, with a card that says, "I'm sorry.
>>>>>>>>    It won't happen again."  When you see them, start ripping up the
>>>>>>>>    flowers.  Repeat the process for a few weeks.
>>>>>>>>42. Call your roommate "Clyde" by accident.  Start doing so every so
>>>>>>>>    often.  Increase the frequency over the next few weeks, until you
>>>>>>>>    are calling him "Clyde" all the time.  If your roommate protests,
>>>>>>>>    say, "I'm sorry.  I won't do that anymore, Murray."
>>>>>>>>43. Hire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping.
>>>>>>>>44. Move everything to one side of the room.  Ask your roommate if he
>>>>>>>>    knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the
>>>>>>>>    empty side of the room with concern.
>>>>>>>>45. Practice needlepoint every night.  At one point, grab your thumb
>>>>>>>>    and scream, "Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"  Cry hysterically for a few
>>>>>>>>    minutes, and then go to bed.  Sob and sniff all night.
>>>>>>>>46. When your roommate comes in, pretend that you are on the phone,
>>>>>>>>    screaming angrily and shouting obscenities.  After you hang up,
>>>>>>>>    say, "That was your mom.  She said she'd call back."
>>>>>>>>47. Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights
>>>>>>>>    and go to bed.  When he/she leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay,
>>>>>>>>    guys, you can come out now."
>>>>>>>>48. Start wearing a crown, all the time.  If your roommate tells you to
>>>>>>>>    take it off, say, "What the hell do you think you are?  A king?"
>>>>>>>>49. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing
>>>>>>>>    nothing.  Then, look up and say, "I think this game goes a lot
>>>>>>>>    faster with two players."
>>>>>>>>50. Talk back to your "Rice Krispies."  All of a sudden, act offended,
>>>>>>>>    throw the bowl on the floor and kick it.  Refuse to clean it up,
>>>>>>>>    explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
>>>>>>>>51. Change the locks on the door.  Don't let your roommate in unless
>>>>>>>>    he/she says the secret word.  Change the secret word often.  If
>>>>>>>>    your roommate can't guess the secret word, make him/her pay a tithe.
>>>>>>>>52. Scatter stuffed animals around the room.  Put party hats on them.
>>>>>>>>    Play loud music.  When your roommate walks in, turn off the music,
>>>>>>>>    take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say,
>>>>>>>>    "Well, it was fun while it lasted."
>>>>>>>>53. Hang a tire swing from the ceiling.  Act like a monkey.  If someone
>>>>>>>>    besides your roommate comes in, cease acting like a monkey and
>>>>>>>>    claim that the tire swing was your roommate's idea.  When you and
>>>>>>>>    your roommate are alone again, continue acting like a monkey.
>>>>>>>>54. Unplug everything in the room except for one toaster.  Pray to the
>>>>>>>>    toaster.  Bring it gifts.  Throw some of your roommate's
>>>>>>>>    possessions out the window.  Say that the toaster made you do it.
>>>>>>>>55. Challenge your roommate to a duel.  If he/she refuses, claim that
>>>>>>>>    you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered his/her side of the
>>>>>>>>    room.  Insist that he/she remove all of his/her possessions
>>>>>>>>    immediately.
>>>>>>>>56. Sign your roommate up for various activities.  (Campus tour guide,
>>>>>>>>    blood donor, organ donor).
>>>>>>>>57. Start dressing like an Indian.  If your roommate inquires, claim
>>>>>>>>    that you are getting in touch with your Native-American roots.  If
>>>>>>>>    your roommate accuses you of not having any Native-American roots,
>>>>>>>>    claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your
>>>>>>>>    roommate.
>>>>>>>>58. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time.  Constantly
>>>>>>>>    complain that your feet hurt.
>>>>>>>>59. Hit your roommate on the head with a brick.  Claim that you were
>>>>>>>>    trying to kill a mosquito.
>>>>>>>>60. Steal something valuable of your roommate's.  If he/she asks about
>>>>>>>>    it, tell him/her that you traded it for some magic beans.  Give
>>>>>>>>    some beans to your roommate.
>>>>>>>>61. Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with
>>>>>>>>    a hammer.  Put a new bulb in the next day.  Complain often about
>>>>>>>>    the cost of light bulbs.
>>>>>>>>62. Videotape yourself hammering a nail into a wall for a while, and
>>>>>>>>    then stopping.  Play the tape in your room.  Right before the
>>>>>>>>    hammering stops on the videotape, look at the screen and say,
>>>>>>>>    "Don't do that."
>>>>>>>>63. Buy a lamp.  Tell your roommate it's a magic lamp, with a genie
>>>>>>>>    inside it.  Spend a week thinking about what to wish for.  At the
>>>>>>>>    end of the week, report that someone has released the genie from
>>>>>>>>    the lamp.  Blame your roommate.
>>>>>>>>64. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so.
>>>>>>>>    Take notes.  Write a paper on it, and circulate it around campus.
>>>>>>>>    If your roommate protests, say, "The people have a right to know!"
>>>>>>>>65. Collect potato chips that you think look like famous people.  Find
>>>>>>>>    one that looks like your roommate.  Burn it, and explain, "It had
>>>>>>>>    to be done."
>>>>>>>>66. Read the phone book out loud and excitedly.  ("Frank Johnson!  Oh,
>>>>>>>>    wow!  837-9494!  Holy cow!")
>>>>>>>>67. Shadow box several times a day.  One day, walk in looking depressed.
>>>>>>>>    If your roommate asks what's wrong, explain that your shadow can't
>>>>>>>>    box with you anymore due to an injury.  Ask your roommate if you
>>>>>>>>    can box with his/her shadow.
>>>>>>>>68. When you walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust and
>>>>>>>>    yell, "Oh, you're here!"  Walk away yelling and cursing.
>>>>>>>>69. Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is
>>>>>>>>    missing.  Offer a reward for his/her safe return.
>>>>>>>>70. Buy a watermelon.  Draw a face on it and give it a name.  Ask your
>>>>>>>>    roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed.  If your
>>>>>>>>    roommate says no, drop the watermelon out the window.  Make it look
>>>>>>>>    like a suicide.  Say nasty things about your roommate at the
>>>>>>>>    funeral.
>>>>>>>>71. Draw a chalk outline on the floor.  When your roommate comes in,
>>>>>>>>    say, "Don't worry.  It's not what you think."  If he/she asks about
>>>>>>>>    it again, immediately change the subject.
>>>>>>>>72. Drink a cup of coffee every morning.  When you finish it, gnaw on
>>>the
>>>>>>>>    mug for about ten minutes.  Then, look at your roommate,
>>>>>>>>    immediately put the mug away, and quickly leave the room.
>>>>>>>>73. Paint a tunnel on the wall like they do in cartoons.  Every day,
>>>>>>>>    hit your head as you attempt to crawl through it.  Hold your head
>>>>>>>>    and grumble, "Damn road runner...."
>>>>>>>>74. Leave memos on your roommate's bed that say things like, "I know
>>>>>>>>    what you did," and "Don't think you can fool me."  Sign them in
>>>>>>>>    blood.
>>>>>>>>75. Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize.  If he/she
>>>>>>>>    protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.
>>>>>>>>76. Make cue cards for your roommate.  Get them out whenever you'd like
>>>>>>>>    to have a conversation.
>>>>>>>>77. Talk like a pirate, all the time.  Threaten to make your roommate
>>>>>>>>    walk the plank if he/she doesn't swab the deck.  Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!
>>>>>>>>78OB. Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation.  When your
>>>>>>>>    roommate walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a
>>>>>>>>    speech to the plants.  Whisper to them, "We'll continue this
>>>>>>>>    later," while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
>>>>>>>>79. Buy a telescope.  Sit on your bed and look across the room at your
>>>>>>>>    roommate through the telescope.  When you're not using the
>>>>>>>>    telescope, act like your roommate is too far away for you to see.
>>>>>>>>80. Keep some worms in a shoebox.  When doing homework, go and consult
>>>>>>>>    with the worms every so often.  Then become angry, shouting at the
>>>>>>>>    worms that they're stupid and they don't know what they're talking
>>>>>>>>    about.
>>>>>>>>81. Watch "Psycho" every day for a month.  Then act excited every time
>>>>>>>>    your roommate goes to take a shower.
>>>>>>>>82. Wear a paper hat.  Every time your roommate walks in, say, "Welcome
>>>>>>>>    to McDonalds, can I take your...  Oh, it's just you."  Take off the
>>>>>>>>    hat, sit, and pout.
>>>>>>>>83. Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing
>>>>>>>>    things and making random corrections.  If your roommate protests,
>>>>>>>>    tell him/her that you just couldn't take it anymore.
>>>>>>>>84. Leave the room at random, knock on the door, and wait for your
>>>>>>>>    roommate to let you back in.  If he/she asks about it, go on a
>>>>>>>>    tangent about the importance of good manners.
>>>>>>>>85. Hang a horseshoe above the door.  Make up stories about having had
>>>>>>>>    good luck.  Then, take the horseshoe down and wrap your head in
>>>>>>>>    bandages.  When you see your roommate, look above the door where the
>>>>>>>>    horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, "Stupid
>>>>>>>>    horseshoe...."
>>>>>>>>86. Carve a jack-o-lantern.  Complain to your roommate that the
>>>>>>>>    jack-o-lantern has been staring at you.  The next day, tell your
>>>>>>>>    roommate that the jack-o-lantern thinks he/she has been staring at
>>>>>>>>    it.  Confide in your roommate that you really don't like the
>>>>>>>>    jack-o-lantern, but you can't convince it to move out.
>>>>>>>>87. As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin
>>>>>>>>    singing famous operas as loud as you can.  When your roommate turns
>>>>>>>>    on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.
>>>>>>>>88. Hang a basketball net on the wall.  Challenge your refrigerator to
>>>>>>>>    basketball games, and play them in front of your roommate.  Do so
>>>>>>>>    for about a month.  Confide in your roommate that you think the
>>>>>>>>    refrigerator has been taking steroids.
>>>>>>>>89. Drink lots of lemonade.  Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much
>>>>>>>>    you love lemonade.  Then, one day, paint your face yellow.  From
>>>>>>>>    then on, complain about how much you hate lemonade.
>>>>>>>>90. Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the
>>>>>>>>    good old days, when we used to..."  and make up stories involving
>>>>>>>>    you and your roommate.
>>>>>>>>91. Whenever your roommate sneezes, go and hide in the closet for about
>>>>>>>>    and hour.  Look around nervously for the rest of the day.
>>>>>>>>92. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours.  Bring others in to join
>>>>>>>>    you.  Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate.  Then say,
>>>>>>>>    "Boy, these zoos just aren't what they used to be."
>>>>>>>>93. Tell your roommate that your toe hurts, and that means there's
>>>>>>>>    going to be an earthquake, soon.  While your roommate is out, trash
>>>>>>>>    everything on his/her side of the room.  When he/she returns,
>>>>>>>>    explain that the earthquake hit, but only on one side of the room.
>>>>>>>>94. Buy a gun.  Clean it every day.  One day, put a band-aid on your
>>>>>>>>    forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.
>>>>>>>>95. Buy a lobster.  Pretend to play cards with it.  Complain to your
>>>>>>>>    roommate that the lobster is making up his own rules.
>>>>>>>>96. Make pancakes every morning, but don't eat them.  Draw faces on
>>>>>>>>    them, and toss them in the closet.  Watch them for several hours
>>>>>>>>    each day.  Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn't
>>>>>>>>    evolving into a self-sufficient community.  Confide in your
>>>>>>>>    roommate that you think the king of the pancakes has been taking
>>>>>>>>    bribes.
>>>>>>>>97. While you are ironing, pretend to burn yourself.  Start a garbage
>>>>>>>>    can fire in the middle of the room.  Toss the iron inside.  If your
>>>>>>>>    roommate objects, explain that you are just trying to get even.
>>>>>>>>98. Buy some turtles.  Paint numbers on their backs.  Race them down
>>>>>>>>    the hall.
>>>>>>>>99. Create an army of animal crackers.  Put them through basic training.
>>>>>>>>    Set up little checkpoints around the room.  Tell your roommate that
>>>>>>>>    the camel spotted him/her in a restricted area and said not to do
>>>>>>>>    it again.  Ask your roommate to apologize to the camel.
>>>>>>>>100. Put out a plate of cookies at night.  Tell your roommate that
>>>>>>>>     they're for the Sandman.  Take a bite out of one of the cookies
>>>>>>>>     while your roommate is asleep.  The next morning, accuse your
>>>>>>>>     roommate of having bitten one of the cookies.  If he/she tries to
>>>>>>>>     tell you the Sandman did it, insist that you know what the
>>>>>>>>     Sandman's teeth marks look like and that those are, in fact, not
>>>>>>>>     the Sandman's teeth marks.  Grumble angrily and storm out of the
>>>>>>>>     room.