>>>Subject: 50 ways to flunk out a course during the final exam
>>>
>>>
>>>   1.  Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15
>>>   minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some
>>>   gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
>>>
>>>   2.  Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the
>>>   secret documents!!"
>>>
>>>   3.  If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long
>>>   answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the
>>>   integral symbol.
>>>
>>>   4.  Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor
>>>
>>>   5.  Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate
>>>   your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm
>>>   SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk
>>>   the instructor is.
>>>
>>>   6.  Bring cheerleaders.
>>>
>>>   7.  Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly
>>>   say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to
>>>   every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are
>>>   you? Where's the regular guy?"
>>>
>>>   8.  Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at max
>>>   level.
>>>
>>>   9.  On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to
>>>   refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this
>>>   question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be
>>>   creative.
>>>
>>>   10.  Bring pets.
>>>
>>>   11.  Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of
>>>   relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the
>>>   country" and run off.
>>>
>>>   12.  Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into
>>>   very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry
>>>   Christmas."  If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam.
>>>   Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
>>>
>>>   13.  Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
>>>
>>>   14.  Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your
>>>   head, and nothing else.
>>>
>>>   15.  Come down with a AD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as
>>>   vulgar as possible.
>>>
>>>   16.  Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make
>>>   one up!  For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
>>>
>>>   17.  Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking.
>>>   Blame it on the person nearest to you.
>>>
>>>   18.  As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
>>>
>>>   19.  Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be
>>>   taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let
>>>   them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of
>>>   the profits if they are allowed to stay.
>>>
>>>   20.  Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to
>>>   another seat, continue with the exam.
>>>
>>>   21.  Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out,
>>>   start commenting on how easy it was.
>>>
>>>   22.  Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false.
>>>   If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB.
>>>   BABE. etc..).
>>>
>>>   23.  Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers
>>>   completely blacked out.
>>>
>>>   24.  Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down
>>>   violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.
>>>
>>>   25.  Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the
>>>   instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving
>>>   after one hour to go drink)
>>>
>>>   26.  Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point
>>>   during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
>>>
>>>   27.  Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why,
>>>   tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on
>>>   above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
>>>
>>>   28.  Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
>>>
>>>   29.  Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put
>>>   on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera"
>>>   until they drag you away.
>>>
>>>   30.  Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the
>>>   class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you
>>>belonged.
>>>   Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take
>>>   the exam.
>>>
>>>   31.  Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say
>>>   "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our
>>>   Lives is on!!!"
>>>
>>>   32.  Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
>>>
>>>   33.  From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore
>>>   the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to
>>>   leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the
>>>   River Kwai.
>>>
>>>   34.  Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
>>>
>>>   35.  If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you
>>>   could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most
>>>   equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life
>>>   story.
>>>
>>>   36.  Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and
>>>   shield.
>>>
>>>   37.  Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the
>>>   exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
>>>
>>>   38.  Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious...
>>>   like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just
>>>   failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with
>>>   the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
>>>
>>>   39.  When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
>>>
>>>   40.  After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any
>>>   question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
>>>
>>>   41.  One word: Wrestlemania.
>>>
>>>   42.  Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they
>>>   do before concerts start.
>>>
>>>   43.  Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
>>>
>>>   44.  Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
>>>
>>>   45.  Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you.
>>>   Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
>>>
>>>   46.  Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent
>>>   to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
>>>
>>>   47.  During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs,
>>>   anything you can reach.
>>>
>>>   48.  Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a
>>>   90 degree angle.
>>>
>>>   49.  Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are
>>>   asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student
>>>Handbook
>>>   with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical
>>>   instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".
>>>
>>>   50.  Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks"
>>>