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>Why did the chicken cross the road?
>
>Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
>
>Roseanne Barr: Urrrrrp.  What chicken?
>
>George Bush: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.
>
>Julius Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer.
>
>Candide: To cultivate its garden.
>
>Bill the Cat: Oop Ack.
>
>Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
>
>Moses: Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the
>road, >and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own
>preservation.
>
>Joseph Conrad: Mistah Chicken, he dead.
>
>Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
>events to grace the annals of history.  A historic, unprecedented avian
>biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly
>relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
>
>Salvador Dali: The Fish.
>
>Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
>
>Thomas Dequincy: Because it ran out of opium.
>
>Rene Descartes: It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.
>
>Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
>
>Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?
>
>TS Eliot: Weialala leia / Wallala leialala.
>
>TS Eliot (revisited): Do I dare to cross the road?
>
>Epicurus: For fun.
>
>Paul Erdos: It was forced to do so by the chicken-hole principle.
>
>Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
>
>Basil Fawlty: Oh, don't mind that chicken. It's from Barcelona.
>
>Gerald R. Ford: It probably fell from an airplane and couldn't stop
>its forward momentum.
>
>Sigmund Freud: The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted
>the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of
>which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich.
>
>Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by.
>
>Zsa Zsa Gabor: It probably crossed to get a better look at my legs, which,
>thank goodness, are good, dahling.
>
>Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross.
>If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost,
>the chicken would be lost!
>
>Johann Friedrich von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
>
>Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
>
>Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on,
>but it was moving very fast.
>
>Adolf Hitler: It needed Lebensraum.
>
>David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
>
>Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
>justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
>
>Lee Iacocca: It found a better car, which was on the other side of the road.
>
>John Paul Jones: It has not yet begun to cross!
>
>Martin Luther King: It had a dream.
>
>James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
>
>Stan Laurel: I'm sorry, Ollie. It escaped when I opened the run.
>
>Leda: Are you sure it wasn't Zeus dressed up as a chicken?  He's into that
>kind of thing, you know.
>
>Gottfried Von Leibniz: In this best possible world, the road was made for
>it to cross.
>
>Groucho Marx: Chicken?  What's all this talk about chicken?  Why, I had an
>uncle who thought he was a chicken.  My aunt almost divorced him, but we
>needed the eggs.
>
>Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.
>
>Gregor Mendel: To get various strains of roads.
>
>John Milton: To justify the ways of God to men.
>
>Alfred E. Neumann: What? Me worry?
>
>Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest.  Chickens in
>motion >tend to cross the road.
>
>Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to.  That's the (censored) reason.
>
>Thomas Paine: Out of common sense.
>
>Michael Palin: Nobody expects the banished inky chicken!
>
>Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on the other side of the road.
>
>Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
>
>Ronald Reagan: I forget.
>
>Georg Friedrich Riemann: The answer appears in Dirichlet's lectures.
>
>John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
>transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself
>of the opportunity.
>
>Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly.
>Ah canna work miracles, Captain!
>
>William Shakespeare: I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a
>hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.
>
>Sisyphus: Was it pushing a rock, too?
>
>Socrates: To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.
>
>The Sphinx: You tell me.
>
>Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
>
>Brad Templeton: Do you think I have time to answer questions like that?
>I'm not a riddle-answering service. Anyway, I've heard it before.
>(Moderator of Rec.humor.funny)
>
>Margaret Thatcher: There was no alternative.
>
>Dylan Thomas: To not go (sic) gentle into that good night.
>
>Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out
>of life.
>
>Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
>
>George Washington: Actually it crossed the Delaware with me back in 1776.
>But most history books don't reveal that I bunked with a birdie during
>the duration.
>
>Mae West: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.
>
>Walt Whitman: To cluck the song of itself.
>
>William Wordsworth: To have something to recollect in tranquility.
>
>Molly Yard: It was a hen!
>
>Henny Youngman: Take this chicken ... please.
>
>Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
>